Gross BUT True

I’m not the most graceful and as much as my mom has tried I’m not really a lady. I DO try but as hard as I try, I have never fit into a box or certain classification.  I’m me, they only box I have ever prolly ever will fit into is an amoeba shaped box, no defined shape or definition, just its all there. (kind of like a Jackson Pollock painting) Plus I have curly hair & my frizz is un-shapeable, seriously a gallon of pure olive oil cannot contain my frizz. So, shapes are not my friend. As hard as I try, as much as I try to conform, it is might be a futile mission, but I’m me and super stubborn and will NEVER stop trying.

(back to my main point)

I’m no lady I hate crossing my legs, cannot sit still, speak my mind and spill stuff on myself occasionally, (not the lady lacking part but the spilling stuff on me part, is a characteristic inherited from my mother)

Thankfully my mom is an expert in stain removal.

Back to not being a lady, I am clumsy, accident prone and love to pick scabs. Well, being clumsy, accident-prone and a scab picker, blood occasionally gets on my clothing or stains some material around me.

Blood is not the easiest to get out, especially on certain materials or things that cannot fit into a washing machine.

Here is the gross part: I was whining venting talking about blood stains to my mom. She warns me her solution would gross me out BUT she swears by it. Saliva, spit, drool, loogies call it whatever you wish but it’s the best, best, best blood stain remover!! Yes, I was dumb founded and contested it and digressed on how unsanitary it is.

(FACT: the mouth is the dirties, most germ ridden orifice of the human body)

All she kept saying was try it and then brining in a few comments about enzymes but her biochemistry is limited, but knows food chemistry. (all I know about food is I like to eat it, well some of it)

Try it. Try it. Try it.

FINE MOM! I will try it. 

(this totally weighs heavily on my whole germaphobia complex)

I have only tried this with my own blood stains and my own saliva, I refuse to try it with other’s saliva or blood….

If possible do this when the blood stain is still fresh… aka wet.

(if fresh, dab the stain to soak up any wet blood)

STEP 1: Haulk a loogie on the blood stain.

(I do it on the reverse side of the stain)

STEP 2: Let it soak for a minute

STEP 3: Rub the saliva all over the stain

(I use gloves with a cotton rag or a tooth brush, I have no desire to rub my finger in my spit, even though I did suck my thumb into my teenage years)

Depending on the concentration of the stain you might need a few more loogies & elbow grease

STEP 4: Repeat until stain is gone or almost gone

STEP 5: wash your hands, the utensil and the counter top after you finish… (I do it twice….. spit…..YUCK)

STEP 6: If it fits in a washing machine, launder as usual, if not take a very diluted mixture of water and laundry soap, rub it over the stained/spit soaked area. Repeat until, the orangie-yellowish color is gone. Then rinse with pure water a few times.

It has worked for me on my dry clean only items, spit, rub, drop off at the cleaners

Like I said, this grosses me out and is a challenge for me to do. But it’s the best blood stain remover/process I’ve tried. I have tried others but this works the best.

Why? 

Well, my mom was right! It does have something to do with enzymes. Saliva is mostly water but the last 2% is composed of electrolytes, mucus, glycoproteins, enzymes, secretory IgA and lysozymes. The composition of that 2% is essential for beginning the process of digestion or break down of dietary starches and fats.

Enzymes are highly reactive proteins. Enzymes catalyze or increase the rate of chemical reactions such as digestion. Blood is composed of proteins and when they are exposed to the atmosphere, heat or some material they can react, forming chemical bonds with the fabric. Which is why blood is super hard to get out and why the blood stain should be treated as soon as possible.

The enzymes in saliva are designed to break chemical bonds and break down complex proteins and compounds (such a food). Therefore, by spitting on one’s own blood stain, one is chemically digesting the stain out of the material, without damaging the integrity of the fabric.

Isn’t science the greatest?

(and really gross sometimes)