"The bad news
is time flies. The good news is you're the pilot.” -Michael Altshuler
Time can be an enemy as well as your best friend. Either way time
does go by extremely quickly. Maybe not while you're weathering through but
looking back, it seems time was set on fast forward.
Today my goddaughter is another year older. She is turning into a
spirited, opinionated, creative, adventurous, funny, and wonderful person. She
is unique, outspoken, and hilarious.
I cannot believe she is 12! In some ways it seems like yesterday, I
was pushing her in a swing & begging to go wake her up from her nap. In
other ways, it seems like a lifetime ago.
I was a young, young teenager when I christened her! Being the
youngest Godparent, I got to hold her throughout the mass, well until she
decided she was hungry & didn't want to wait! It was really special and
I could not be more proud to be her "Godmudder". More than anything,
I wanted a bond with her, I wanted her to know that I was there when she needed
me and that I was more than just a cousin with a title.
I tried to spend every break, day off & weekend I could
with her & her siblings. I loved/love babies and I loved being able to
help out. It made me feel wanted. It was the best of the best times. Now do I
ever wish I could go back, to when she fell asleep in my arms or stomped around
saying "don't call me Rosie!!"?
No way! NOT in a million years
Why? Because as great as those times were, it was hard and in some
ways a real nightmare. Looking back it was even more of a blessing than I knew
at the time; it was an escape all that time with her. I did might have driven her poor mother
nuts, wanting to spend every break with them, but it was pure bliss being with
them.
If you asked me, does time fly? Well, my answer is that sometimes
it does. I would say age 12-20 dragged and dragged on. I piloted myself
through, sometimes directly into the storms, a
lot sometimes through the
more difficult routes and even through uncharted territory. I was (and
sometimes still am) the pilot ALWAYS flying to what's next.
Well, as I've been flying to what's next, time has passed & life has been lived. There are parts I've missed in Catherine's life, my
family's life and even my own life flying to what's next.
Of course, I've lived my life too, growing up, going to college,
moving away, starting a career etc... Nevertheless, looking back, all I had was
time. Now everything involves excessive planning, scheduling, and trying to
coordinate busy lives.
Yes, time does fly-by & of course, you can never go back,
but you can remember how you piloted through and allow the special times to
guide your future times.
I'm not trying to speak in code, all I'm saying is that looking
back on Catherine's christening, and all the wishes, and dreams I had, have not
necessarily come true. I need go back & remember those wishes and
dreams. But instead of trying to re-do the past, I need to adjust my wishes
& dreams to fit "now" and pilot my time to ensure those
wishes and dreams come true. With both my relationship with Catherine and my
life in general I need to pilot my time & effort into what's
most important, relationships. Not just a title but a relationship, a special
relationship behind that title, whether it be godmother, friend, sister,
daughter, cousin, etc...
I'm not sure if I made much sense, but on her 12th (seriously? are
we sure she is that old) birthday, I'm remembering the GOOD in being the pilot.
That's my gift to her as well as myself. Not that any 12 year old would think
that's an awesome gift, which is why whenever I see her next, there will be a
few others wrapped up with pink bows & sparkly paper!
Happy Happy Birthday to my Goddaughter Miss Catherine Rose. You
sure are not thus tiny any more, but I love you just as much as I did back
then!
