Finally

Wanted to get this post up before the festivities of a certain upcoming birthday commence tonight.....


  

Remember this post? 

Yes, I know it was A while ago, but this project was a pain or maybe it was me and my neuroticness.

Any ways, here’s the story: of a man named Brady  oh... sorry

First, fill holes and cracks

I used cardboard, gorilla glue and joint compound/spackle 

(gorilla glue worked great, yes it expands like 5 million times its size BUT it is sand-able! Just make sure that you have something to catch the dripping glue.)

For the cracks, I just squeezed a thin line of gorgilla glue over them, for the holes, I wedged small pieces of cardboard into the hole then squeezed a blob on top. Since the hole had gone all the way through, I did it on both sides.

Then I spackled around the dried glue, holes and cracks, in order to make the “patch” a bit thicker and stronger.

I did actually wait for this to dry prior to sanding

Sand until smooth

I used an electric sander and hand sanded using a few different grits.

NOTE: never never never ever sand spackle with an electric sander inside your house. It creates a massive, dusty, hard to clean mess.

Once smooth, paint.

I used a picture on my cell phone and my fabulous memory to purchase three Behr samples of the “right” red. Yeah they cannot color match pictures on a device.

Luckily one worked.

Make sure you paint smooth, since I was using latex paint, I had to wait in between each coat, (not used to that) the layers tend to peel up if a layer is still damp during another layer application.

Novel concept, I knew that peeling occurred from painting walls, but never thought it would translate to painting furniture. (I know, I know I’m a bright one)

*** this step occurred a few times, it was hard to get a flat finish using a paint brush. Being neurotic I painted, sanded, painted, sanded… etc and then the spackle got damp and I had to re-spackle a few spots.

It took a little time. 

(yes my definition of little (in this context) is rather exaggerated)

I knew I couldn't free hand the quatréfoil lattice pattern to be up to my standards, so I had to get creative. I took a crayon, peeled off the wrapper and rubbed it against a piece of paper pressed up against one of sides of the table.

Then I cut out one of the lines of the quatréfoil pattern. I did this a few times since my hands are a tad shaky w/ scissors AND because I was using super thin paper with overly sharp scissors.

Then I lined up my hand made stencil and traced it. I used a pencil thinking I could erase it if necessary. Well, pencil erasers do not erase well on latex paint.

Again I hap-hazard-ly did the tracing, then painted over my pencil lines with fabric paint. I stupidly did not look at the pattern until after I painted the entire un-patterned portion.

 FAIL!

Sand, paint over…. 

(its hard to sand fabric paint)

So, I adjusted my stencil placement and made sure each row lined up. 

Then I repainted with fabric paint. Along with fabric paint I used acrylic paint mixed with glue to have puffy, raised lines.

Since the design was not solid white, I mixed brown, cream, grey, black and beige with a dry brush to “antique” (that’s not the right word, but you get my point right?)

Its hard to be precise with dry brushing, I went back in with the red to clean up the edges around each quatrefoil.

The part above was explained in about four minutes, compiled it took about 36 hours to do. No it was not consecutive, I do have a life people kinda. It was tedious and since I’m a bit insane, it took longer than hoped.

I noticed there were streaks in the red parts of the table. It was not a solid red color. So, leaving the spots I fixed solid red was not an option in my book.

I tried paint, but black paint mixed with any color is hard. Makes colors murky and the finish looks dirty. Not to mention streaking it in straight fine lines through each quatréfoil? I’m not MC Escher people!!!

No idea where I got this idea, I took the bottom ends of a crayon and drew lines randomly throughout the entire side of the table. Since crayons are mainly complied of wax, I took an old wash cloth and rubbed each line to smear and blend within the red background. I did this with a brown, grey and black crayon. I was a tad impressed on how well it worked. I did it all over, on the top, sides, legs.

Since I bought this table damaged, there were knicks and chips surrounding the table.  I painted over each imperfection with the red and randomly around the entire table to have it blend. My color matching was good but not exact so I wanted it to blend in more than just the spots I fixed.

As hard as I tried I could not get the coloring right on the quatréfoil lattice pattern to match what was originally there. (Again, NO idea where this idea came from.) I took the side of the unwrapped crayon and rubbed it against every side of the table. Each part of the pattern was raised and uneven, so it picked up the color from the crayon pretty well. It looked a bit like the stencil I made earlier.

I was a bit excited how it well worked.

Once I finally had a covering I was pleased with, I had to make it permanent. I sprayed water based matte polyurethane over the entire table. Let it dry and sanded it using 200 grit sanding pads. I did 3 coats.

Normally I use clear spray paint or hair spray as a sealer, but since it was such a pain, I wanted to be extra sure I had a thick protective coating on it. (yes I tend to be a bit of a catastrophizer)

Its not perfect, but look at the side to side view of the side I did not touch and the side I fixed:

Another view

Not horrible, right?

How does she look? 

Here’s the numbers people:

$35 for Damaged table I got cheap thanks to a sweet smile and amplifying the multiple imperfections, $9 for the three Behr paint samples. $2.79 for gorilla glue, $ 10.86 for a can of Minwax water based matte polyurethane, $ 10.00 for the assumed total costs of the spackle, glue, sand paper, fabric paint, acrylic paint, printer ink & crayons…..stuff I already had

So, a little over sixty five dollars for awesome accent piece in my office........

SCORE

How many ounces?

I know the whole recommendation of drinking 64 ounces of water daily and pretty much eight out of ten humans are dehydrated, but I have a few qualms with it.

ooo you might be dehydrated but nice bod!

64 ounces of water, does not mean necessarily 64 ounces of H₂O going down your throat.  Water is in many things you eat. Now it’s not necessarily an ample amount unless you’re over dosing on watermelons or cucumbers, but it averages out to about 8 ounces of water (give or take) consumed daily by things (for lack of a better word) other than straight H₂O.

So, going by the law of averages (which really do not work in my book, but for this lets go with it) one only needs to consume 56 ounces or 7 - eight ounce glasses of water each day. If you flavor it than it doesn’t work, the additives require more fluid and enzymes to digest.

This picture makes me miss organic chemistry

I am busy. I really do not have the time or patience to be running to empty my bladder every twenty minutes. I have a big enough caboose therefor I have no need to make it appear bigger by wear Depends. Conveniece always trumps practicality in my book! I was great on car rides, I could hold it, which was a necessity since my father did not really stop unless he felt it was prudent.  Yes, I know its unhealthy, but that’s not my point.

I rarely drink sixteen ounces of water daily, let alone sixty four. I do not have a job where I can have a water bottle nearby and I rarely get thirsty, not to mention I hate having to stop everything and go to use the facilities. Yes, I think it’s a nuisance.  Crazy? Yeah, but that’s me.

I keep a water in my purse, car, near my bed etc.. but my actual consumption is limited. Though I have been trying to up my daily water intake. Why?

1.)  to better align my plumbing (TMI? maybe)

2.) to curb my incessant need to snack

3.) to help with my endurance (prolly not scientific but it works in my head)

4.) for a healthier diet

5.) I actually like water

6.)  Some other important reason that I cannot think of at the moment

NOW:

WHAT MAKES NO SENSE IN MY BOOK

I drink from limited water sources, sadly my job has shown me that most drinking water sources are NOT the safest (another post). With that said, I carry a water bottle with me everywhere, whether its bottled water or water in a water bottle. When I do not have it close, I crave it but when I have it there is some disconnect since there is limited consumption maybe, maybe eight ounces.

BUT

When I have water in my tumbler (BPA free) I seem to more drink more?!? I actually seem to chug it, not to mention finish it! I even refill it two or three times in ONE day! (ground breaking people HA) 20 ounce tumbler x 3 refills = sixty ounces!

Same Water

Same Routine

Different container!

My tumbler is my “cure” to not being one of those eight that are dehydrated. BEAT THAT INSURANCE COMPANY

I think it’s the weirdest thing. I personally dislike straws (but I use them in restaurants, cause I’m a germ-a-phob) so, that isn’t why my tumbler puts my water intake on steroids

Its just really funny/odd/interesting to me.

Yes, it increases my facility visits but that can be counter acted by Kegle exercises (HA)

It is another step involved in my water intake, but I have succumb to dumping my bottled water into my tumbler. Yes, I recycle. This extra step has made my daily water intake much closer to the daily recommended amount as well as made my liquid excretions resemble a nice pale blonde color.  

I know you really needed to know that! It’s my humor, take it or leave it. It makes me laugh, makes some others laugh and makes my mother cringe!

Thoughts?

Once off, now back ON

I fell.

I fell hard.

I fell hard off the wagon.

Life had some changes I was neither expecting nor prepared for. I’m a bit like a baby, schedules, plans and consistency work well for me and when new things or there is an unexpected change, I get all messed up, unsettled and occasionally cry. It takes time for me to adjust. Change and I have a guarded relationship. My terms people, my terms. (control freak? um… yep!). When everything got turned upside down as life occasionally does, I may have freaked a bit. 

Lots and lots and lots of change = Erin implodes. 

I was good the first week or so on sticking with two shakes a day with my Body by Vi® 90 Day Challenge and under my daily recommended amount of calories. There were a few days where I threw myself a pity party and indulged in some high calorie euphoric inducing snacks, but relatively stayed on track. Then I got violently ill, my stomach decided it no longer wanted to be inside my body.  When I finally started feeling better, things were still out of sorts and I had not yet accepted it, let alone adjusted. I gave up on the Body by Vi® 90 Day Challenge . I figured as crazy and unknown as things were, at least I could eat what I wanted, when I wanted.

This lasted maybe(?) about a week and half. Then I happened to step on the scale. I gained it ALL back plus some! It was the best news I had gotten in a while (NOT). I was mad at myself, I shedded a few tears, which I swear made that scale increase a few ounces. I SWEAR. I realized that staying mad and resistant to my new reality was just going to make a certain number bigger and bigger. (light bulb people!)

I resumed my challenge.

YAY ME!

 Its been hot here. Not just hot but humid. Not a mix that I gel well with. Plus the grocery stores are offer huge sales on frozen novelties to help beat the heat. Not nice mother nature! Not nice grocery stores!

Evil. Pure evil preying on people who are trying to get back in shape while attempting to survive in the suffocating humidity mother nature is blessing us with!

Two things calling screaming my name are:

   

Yes! 

OF COURSE I bought them

(don’t judge)

sometimes ice cream is the only sufficient defense against humidity! 

 Plus they were on sale! 

 BUT WAIT!!!! 

I got a challenge friendly Solution:

yes, completely serious, I don't joke about humidity blasters

Indulge with my Body by Vi® Shakes 

This genius idea came from none other than the lovely, talentedly, fabulous miss á la mode

Presenting: 

My Dark Chocolate Covered Banana Body by Vi® Shake 

(minus the popsicle stick)

Add a few ice cubes and you get the perfect humidity blasting indulgence.

Not just a snack but a meal..... YUM

I simply (and safely) cut the lovely banana pop off the popsicle stick, added 8oz of skim milk and two scoops! 

A great kick start to my resumed Body by Vi® Challenge.

Wanna Join Me? 

I'm doing the Shape Plan

Get three friends & do it for free!!!!

Happy um... am I even celebrating?

My birthday is in eight days.  I’m not a fan of my birthday.  I really do not care about the whole getting older bit, it’s just a number but what gets to me is realizing what I have and have not accomplished by said age.

I know.  I know.  I know.  Everyone is on their own time line and has their own journey, but like everyone else, I have hopes and dreams.  Again, I DO know I’m young and “I’ve got time” (it’s my blog, gimmie a break)

I know I have time and the only real ticking clock has well over eight million minutes left on it, not to mention it’s the last thing on my “things I want to do/accomplish in life” list.

I see people celebrating their 35^th and 40^th birthdays and I wish that were me.  Why?  Because for some dumb, irrational idea I have thought, if only I was ___ years old, my life would be “set” (whatever the hell that means) with consistencies in my life.  UM, HELLO?  To obtain consistencies, you gotta find what ya like, whatcha hate and most importantly what works for you.  DUH ERIN

I think I know what I want out of life and I have the work ethic to get there BUT I am not the best at going outside my comfort zone, but I’ve realized that if I push my boundaries and put myself out there, I get to witness a piece of my dreams and wants coming true.

Yeah it sucks a bit having to tell your friends it’s your birthday.  It sucks even more having to plan a get together.  In my book I feel that it sounds a bit conceded to say “hey it’s my birthday, want to go out and celebrate with me?”

Yes, it’s a bit of a blow to the whole self-esteem, BUT in reality, we’re all at a stage in our lives where we are busy and consumed with starting our careers and navigating adulthood.  I can’t hold my friends at a higher standard than I have for myself.  They are busy.  I am busy. It’s hard to get in a night to yourself ever so often, let alone try to plan some goofy birthday celebration around everyone’s schedules.

As much as I would like to ignore it or deny it, dreams and goals of any sort take work, effort and a set of balls.  (oops, that might be a bit crude).  Therefore whether it’s having little birthday celebrations with friends or surviving Dr. Eden’s genetics course, it takes work.  Yes, it would be great to just easily grasp the entire molecular genealogy of dihybrid crosses and pure bliss to have friends that plan a birthday celebration every year for you, but UM, HELLO THAT IS NOT REALITY.  First off I have writing dyslexia, it is a struggle to determine the genotype and phenotype of the second generation with dihybrid crosses is confusing, let alone trying to keep it all the lowercase and capital letters* organized for the third and fourth generations.  In my head, it looks like alphabet soup in Japanese.  Erin and genetics do not mix. That course was blood sweat and tears, a lot of tears, but I survived it!  Friendship does not come easily to me, (I’m a tad socially awkward and insure).  I got to put work into the friendships.  It’s more than being social, heck, I could talk to a stonewall, it is about building relationships.  I need to swallow my pride and fears and say hey, it’s my birthday and I would like to spend it with you. After all, you got to give some to get some, right?  (get your minds out of the gutter!  That is NOT what I’m referring to!)

By no means is it a party and I WILL kill ahem, KILL anyone that attempts to get the restaurant to sing a certain song to me, but its time spent building friendships.  It just happens to be around a date that I turn another year older.

My wish this year is to realize the little things are really HUGE things.  I’m going to revel in the fact that I’m turning the age I’m turning, while working towards “setting” my life.  After all age, isn’t everything right?  I might bake cupcakes or deliver a huge balloon bouquet to celebrate one’s special day, but in reality, I do NOT want someone to do that for me.  I thought that was exactly what I wanted but it really could not be farther from the truth.  I just want to be reminded that I am liked/loved.  That’s it.  Nothing more.

It’s a wish that requires a lot on my part.  Take what I get for what it really means, not to question it or hope for more.  After all, it is MY birthday and more importantly my life.

This is HUGE for me, it is going to take a lot of work to change my mindset, but I got to start somewhere.  Living with the glass half-empty mantra is causing me to miss out on life, all of God’s blessings and the opportunities to really help me fulfill my goals and desires.  Plus, any support would be a colossal perk.

*I’m referring to punnet squares, I know they are not common in every day discussions, heck I wish I never heard of them, BUT if you’d like an explanation, my best advice is Google it.  My explanation will not get you very far.

Tall People = DO NOT READ

I’m short, I will forever be short and my only hope to have average height offspring is to marry a giant. As a scientist there isn’t much I can do to alter this reality. Yeah you were lied to as a child “eat your vegetables, you’ll grow up big & strong” well they forgot to mention a little component called genetics.

Though there was some truth, I grew bigger than my momma. A huge accomplishment in my book!

Though my cousin might be on to something with the whole battle against genetics, her hubby is tall. Here is a HILARIOUS picture of the genetics battle my cousin’s future children will be in for.

 I HATE pants shopping. I owned the average straight leg, blue jean until prolly freshman year of college, no dark jeans, acid washed, faded or worn jeans in my wardrobe, yes I was a real fashionista. (though I did have a stint in elementary school w/ colored jeans & mismatched colored tops, such as Miss Scarlet or Colonel Mustard same color family but mismatched, real fashion statement).

Then one year I decided I wanted a pair of nice dark jeans. Simple request right? 

WRONG!!!

Yes, GAP® you failed me

(side note: I think it’s RIDICULOUS, RIDICULOUS to spend over $50 for a pair of pants, not to mention a huge insult to my budget)

I have wide hips, a smaller waist and short stumpy legs. Yeah, No store makes pants for that. Not many petite lines are cut well for me.

(this is not me)

  So I have to fit my hips first, get stuck w/ baggie-ness (yes I may have made that word up) around my waist. 

I hate wearing belts but hate my crack hanging out as well (sorry for being blunt). 

Those are two huge issues and we haven’t even gotten to length yet.

-    Rolling them up? seems kiddie & already look twelve I don’t need to encourage the young look

- Ankle length? they all seem to be cut funny & get stuck on my calves.

- Let them hang? Well, they get dirty, torn, ragged and get caught in the heel of my foot as I walk, um…. too annoying to deal with, I already can’t walk straight, I do not need my pants getting in the way.

- Tailoring? well, yes that works but what teenager has tailored jeans, hemmed w/o any cuff or bottom details? No need to look extra awkward. My mom is an awesome seamstress, but my requests tend to be a tad extreme.

My point ?????

IT'S A STRUGGLE

Is there hope?

Small bits of hope pop up every so often, (not to mention it’s a rare feet when it occurs while I’m in a store shopping) such as this:

See these capri's

Cropped Capri's ?

Well, cropped look funny on me, I have tiny (height wise) calves, ever heard of the term high waters? Umm yes that’s what cropped means to me.

BUT these fit, in my waist & hips? Um, that is two out of three!

Wow, I sound optimistic! Let’s crush that! 

Two out of three does not work for me. I’m a glass half empty kind of girl, yes that’s on the “let’s talk about this in therapy list”

I have no need to make myself look shorter than I am and wearing pants that stop 4 inches above my ankles knocks off another few inches in my vertical disposition.

Those four inches are precious!

Well, those four inches are still part of the pant, just cuffed and stitched up. (having a mom that sews is one step up I have in my life)

I get a great idea (yeah, it was a surprise to me too)

Why don’t I take my mom’s seam ripper & try to un-stitch the cuff?

Um..... GENIUS

Tahhh-daahhhh

cannot get this to flip ughhh

Dark jeans that fit in the hips, waist and are not getting caught in the heel of my shoe as I walk!

Not to mention on clearance at Target® for $5.98 (bought these back in September) 

woop woop 

Yes, I went back and bought 3 more pairs!

4 pairs of pants that are stylish, do not require a belt, fit in my hips AND after minor surgery are long enough but NOT too long? = PERFECTION my friends

of course they are discontinued, sold-out online and no other line of pants Target® carries fit (even with minor surgery), but I got four pairs for under $25.

my life in a nut shell people